Reality TV Addict

In honor of getting TV time back, here are some of my favorite reality shows. Most of them are over for the season, but those of you with that newfangled cable TV can probably catch a marathon sometime this fall.

Bikini or Bust — Ashley Paige, who has been making famous knit bikinis for 20 years, is inspirational. Who knew she wasn’t mass-producing her awesome knit bikinis and that she was totally broke because she can’t find an investor? Watching her encourages me to go for my dream of being a writer. I’ll spare you the “overcoming obstacles” clichés, Reader, because I like you.

Tori and Dean — Tori Spelling is paranoid like me and digs being a mom. I wish my husband was more like Dean … he lets Tori have like 9 TVs in the house.

Flipping Out — Jeff Lewis is a Type A control freak, which I can be. He is to the house-flipping world what I was to the proofreading world (dictator-like, noticing every flaw).

Project Runway — I can’t sew a button on a shirt (again with my husband having my sewing gene) but I love this “fierce” show. Heidi Klum (think she’ll go for one more kid?), the gay guys, the crying/fighting chicks … makes my daily life seem like cake.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List — She’s not for everybody. She is sick and wrong. I still love her.

Million Dollar Listing — Is Chad for real? He sells multi-million dollar houses, is supposedly straight, yet I SWEAR he wears lipstick and that mushroom haircut is killing me. AND he says REAL-A-TER. The word “realtor”, which he IS for a living, does NOT HAVE AN extra “A” in it. And I want to sock Josh Flagg in his smirky little face.

Jon and Kate + 8 — Bears some resemblance to my own life, only with twice as many kids. If their life is a natural labor, mine is simply an epidural labor. I’m tired; my metaphorical similes suck. Are they an annoyal to you? Tee hee.

Would you rather I be addicted to crack or Valium? Reality TV is cheap, doesn’t give me a headache or hangover and doesn’t interfere with my parenting in a negative way. In fact, it puts me in a good mood and makes me feel good about myself. Like when you come to my house and leave feeling good that your house is so much cleaner than mine and your kids are so much better behaved.