Christ Renews His Parish Weekend ...Men

Folks, look forward to many more pissy stories like the one that follows. The more pregnant I get, traditionally, the pissier I get. When I was pregnant with Michael, I (generally a total wus who got bullied all through school) challenged a woman at a Phoenix library to “take it outside” because she used up all her time on her computer while I was waiting and then re-signed on and then had the audacity to get in my face about bringing a 16-month-old child to the CHILDREN’S section of the library.

So here’s a discrepancy for you, and I’m interested in your thoughts and comments. My husband is at this religious men’s weekend at church. It started at 8 a.m. yesterday and ends today at 5 p.m. He stayed the night at the school. I’m taking the kids to Mass by myself today.

So I called the Coordinator before the retreat just to see if Aron would be able to call home Saturday night (last night). I told him even when Aron travels, he never goes a day without talking to the kids or to me. I told him if I knew he’d be calling, I’d stay home since my cell phone is broken. In case you’re wondering why I even called and are saying that’s something you would NEVER do, let me remind you I am a bit ornery, especially when pregnant.

They guy said they can’t have cell phones and can’t call home. I asked why, which I seem to do more and more the longer I homeschool. It’s not like I will die if I don’t talk to him, but isn’t this a churchy thing? Doesn’t the church (especially the, ahem, CATHOLIC church) encourage FAMILY? The guy says, “We’re on GOD’S TIME this weekend.”

I LAUGHED my butt off and said, “Huh. Well, with GOD’S help, Aron and I have made FIVE kids. You’d think GOD would encourage him talking to his wife and kids daily, especially with the divorce rate these days!” So they can’t take 5 minutes out of 33 HOURS to say hi to their kids? Weird.

When Aron put the boys to bed Friday night they were upset that he couldn’t call us and that he wouldn’t be going to church with us today. I’m thinking my husband doesn’t even NEED this weekend since, to me and the kids, he’s the perfect father and husband anyway.

So yesterday morning 10 minutes before he’s even supposed to be there, they CALL our house to make sure he’s coming, which annoyed Aron. I told him to please not come back with a chip in his skin acting like a Stepford Husband. I also told him not to drink the Koolaid they may provide.

I hope I’m not spoiling anything for anyone who goes on a future weekend like this, but my friend who saw her husband off at the school for the weekend said all the guys’ luggage had been packed in a van. Huh? If they are sleeping at the school, why is their luggage all in a van?

The snow and ice were coming down crazy yesterday and I’m sure Aron was worried about our power going out and us freezing to death. We were prepared and made a fire just in case and had candles all ready to go.

Why are church-y events sometimes so disruptive to family life? My friend’s husband says, “God always comes first.” I agree. Without God, I would have and be nothing. But I think there’s something to be said for mothers and fathers making children and then BEING THERE for them most of the time and not being made to feel like heathens for not being in a Bible study or going on a religious weekend when the ma and pa are in the baby-raising phase (and happen to be having a bunch of kids, by the way).

Oh, and I'm betting it's like Marriage Encounter where they make it a big secret and you can't tell ANYBODY about your "special" weekend, which just freaks me out. I'm a Gemini and have to know stuff, not to mention we don't keep secrets from each other. I bet they tell the guys "don't tell other guys cuz it'll ruin the surprise and don't tell your wife in case she ever goes on the women's weekend." Forget THAT!