My Snotty Whole Foods Splurge

So my friend needed me to go to Whole Foods for her because it’s closer to my house and I was going to be down 2 kids (they were at a party at her house, in fact). She only needed a couple of things, but what she doesn’t realize is that Whole Foods is like my shoes or my crack. This means that I can take or leave shoes or crack (you know I’ve never tried crack!), but I LOVE food with a passion. I am a foodtard, though. Luckily I married a food genius named Aron.

I will now share my Whole Foods purchases with you. Oh, I also have to add first that sometimes I get crazy in Whole Foods because the people are so different from people who shop at Aldi. Sometimes I walk the aisles chanting, “Get me out of the land of the rich, healthy people.” Yes, I know you don’t have to be rich to shop there, but some stuff is so pricey. I suppose if I never got a Starbuck’s coffee out and NEVER ate out EVER I could afford to eat SOME stuff at Whole Foods. I’m CONSIDERING getting healthy someday and eating mostly good-for-me stuff, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.

So my MAJOR PURCHASE was these poached salmon veggie rolls. They were like a buck a piece but SO healthy and yummy. I also got a salad ON SALE … butternut squash, goat cheese and walnuts. I added half an avocado that was on sale. I saved the other half for later and told it, “I will place you in this plastic baggie with your seed still on. I don’t care if you turn brown in the fridge. I will always love you anyway.” I also have to always get those naughty cocoa chewy cookies that are like a buck a piece there. I spent my kids’ college savings on these salmon burgers because this crack (I mean, SALMON) dealer was handing out samples and I knew my family would love them.

I wanted the coffee yogurt but will wait until it goes on sale (I will spend a buck on a cookie but not a buck on one yogurt that would make a great breakfast with some Kashi). CRAP … I just wrote KASHI … did you see that?! I know we cloth diaper and homeschool and stuff, but I will never go 100% Whole Foods. I love my cheap Aldi, and they have some healthy stuff.

Still, if I made like $50 an hour writing and could afford to spend $1,000 per month on groceries (holy crap!), I would totally convert to Whole Foods. There’s just something kinda snobby about it, like people are judging the non-organic peoples of the world. I don’t really care about organic; I just love the variety and the quality!

P.S. I know there are people like my friend Jeani who have food allergies and must shop at Whole Foods for all the gluten-free and other special foods. And then there are the people who just want to feed themselves and their families totally healthy stuff. Don’t forget about the people with, like, cancer who are trying to eat all clean to try to reverse their disease. So I’m thinking maybe 50% of shoppers there are just trying to be cool.