I took this of myself in my swimsuit in July. Since then I put on about another 5 pounds drinking one huge, luscious coffee chocolate milk every day. |
Here's me with clothes on, lettin' it all hang out. |
Okay, I understand that I'm not obese. Realistically I'm only about 42 pounds over what I weighed when I got married, what I weighed during most of my 20s.
I understand that I've carried and delivered 5 children and that I homeschool and stay home with them now, which adds stress and sometimes is my excuse for eating things I should not eat.
I get that I have me a man and shouldn't care so much about my appearance.
Still, I joined Weight Watchers a couple of weeks ago … for the third time. Attempting to get healthy once and for all is taking over my life, so naturally it is spilling on the blog!
I joined for the first time when my third child Callie was 1,
so I got extra points to eat because I was nursing! I quit when I hit about 137
then gained it all back. I don’t have a good psychological explanation for you.
I joined again in January of 2009 then found out I was
pregnant with my 5th child a few weeks later. They don’t like
preggies in WW, so I had to drop out. (just kidding … you could probably follow
WW just fine as long as you gave yourself the correct amount of points so you
were eating what you needed for you and your baby and not pigging in all kinds
of extras).
I know I will stumble. I call my first 6 pounds lost these
last 2 weeks my Iced Coffee Pounds. You know, where you take a packet of
Starbucks Via and add a ton of milk and a ton of chocolate syrup and ice?! Yeah,
I did that EVERY morning. And when I had the afternoon slump I’d often have
another one. I deserved it. I am home with all these kids and am responsible for their education. I have to attempt to keep a decent-looking home.
I DESERVED that 500-calorie treat every day. Do I also deserve to have my hips hurt when I lay in bed? Do I deserve to be winded when I walk the neighborhood? Or to have my back hurt when I've done nothing spectacular? Do I deserve to keep wearing maternity tops?
I can't wait to share my journey with you. I don't see weight loss as a race at all, and it's not easy for me by any means. I hope you'll come back to chat with me about your own journey!
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