Confidence is a funny thing. It’s fragile, like glass, and anything and everything in life can make it slip and shatter. One minute, you’re happily bumbling along with your day-to-day activities and the next, something pulls the rug from under you and shatters your confidence completely. It’s very easy to lose your confidence in life, but it’s much harder to get it back again once it’s gone.
It’s nice to feel like you are doing well in life. So many people put pressure on to achieve - whether that’s in work or your relationship - and it can be exhausting to keep all of the plates spinning. You feel you’re doing well if you haven't lost your career, or succumbed to a divorce and if you do lose a job or deal with your marriage breaking down, it can be hard to get your confidence back to those pre-trauma levels. You can manage a job loss with taking the positive and finding a new job, and you can have the right law firm working with you to get a divorce pushed through, but getting that confidence back? That’s all on you. Traumatic experiences take a toll on us - but you can feel confident, radiant and happy once again.
It will take a little work, of course but things like this are never easy. Instead, they’re a journey to get from where you are now to where you want to be, and once you get there, you will never look back. So, no matter the cause of the confidence drop, you need to reach out and grab that new life ahead of you, and we’ve got some tips to help ensure that you regain your confidence once again.
Be Kind to Yourself
The first thing that you have to do for yourself is to be kind. A knock to your confidence can change the course of your life forever, even if you don't know it. When other people notice things about you or say something about your demeanour, you’re going to remember what it’s like to feel worried instead of confident. You have to do the best you can to be kind to yourself. Whatever you believe self-care to be, introduce it to your life and make yourself a priority. The better you care for yourself, the more your confidence will grow.
Ask For Support
Your friends and family are the best people to rally around you when you need to build your confidence. They’re going to go with you to get new clothes or have a makeover, and they will be there to tell you whether your plan to go back to school or burn your ex's clothes is a good idea. You need support, and sometimes, that can even come from therapy. If you’ve dealt with a trauma, then a mental health specialist will help you to overcome it.
Find A Distraction
Did you know that exercise can serve as an excellent way to build your confidence? When you feel good on the outside, you feel better on the inside. Movement and exercise can help you to burn off a lot of the frustration you feel after a job loss or other event that rocks your confidence. The bonus is that it can also make you fitter at the same time. This way of thinking can also give you space to clear your head and work out your next steps for a better, healthier future. Take your time: the future isn't going anywhere right now and the online home gym programs are right where you need them to be.
Stop Moping
Okay, you WILL do this, but the best thing that you can do is do this to your pillow late at night. Say all the ugly things you need to say about the people who were involved in your confidence being shattered, but then take a breath and carry on with your day. You do not need to spend the majority of your day feeling sorry for yourself - it doesn't get you anywhere in life. Instead, you need to believe in all the good things in yourself. Someone’s words can reduce you to a mess if you let them, but while you build your confidence, let’s focus on all the good things that your life has instead of all the bad.
Plan Your Next Steps
It can take time to get your brain to realize that you still have a life to lead no matter what. You need to think about what you want next for your life and how you hope to achieve it. This is a great distraction and all the plans that you make, from study to holidays to getting a new job - it will all help! You can choose to map out your next steps whether you feel confident or not, and hope that the feeling of brilliance comes back again. You need to have a focus, a goal to explore. Things you may not have dared asked for from life could be asked. Places you wanted to go could be explored. You have a chance to revamp your life in a new way, and it’s not an opportunity that you should miss out on. Confidence can grow from the tiniest seed if you only would plant it and watch!
All you need to do here is to ask yourself what would make you feel complete. Once you know how to claw back your confidence and grow away from what took it in the first place, you can prepare yourself for a future of you. Life can be a messy, bumpy road to travel down. But with careful planning and surrounding yourself with the best people, you can ensure that you stay confident no matter what other people say or do. Take the time to plan your future carefully, and you will be able to see that there is plenty to celebrate about you right now. Stop waiting around - get that confidence back!
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