Nobody ever expects to fall in love with a criminal. And then it happens and your whole world changes. All of a sudden, you’re involved in something you never imagined you’d be a part of before. And it can be a little scary.
Why does it happen? Nobody knows. Some people believe that it's the animal magnetism that criminals represent. These individuals don’t play by society’s rules. Instead, they do their own thing, and that can be exciting.
Others think that it goes right down to the depths of our psychology. Deep down we respect and admire these individuals for breaking out of the societal straightjacket and just doing whatever comes into their heads. They have a respect for freedom that many of us have lost.
If you fall for a criminal know this: you’re not alone. It happens to thousands of people every year, often unwittingly. People become beguiled by the criminal mind because it’s so exciting and original. They want more of it, even though they know deep down that it’s poison.
Falling in love with a criminal can happen at any time, so here’s what you should do if it happens to you:
Take A Step Back
First, take a step back and think about how the event is going to play out for the rest of your life. Consider how your friends and family will react if they know you’re dating a convict. Ask whether you’re actually safe or if you need to exit the relationship quickly to avoid putting yourself in harm’s way.
Ask What They’d Done Wrong
It’s also good to find out how your criminal lover got into trouble in the first place. Try to get a sense of the severity of the crime. Punishments under first offense DUI laws can be serious, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that your lover is a hardened criminal or any more dangerous than the average person. However, if they’ve been in and out of prison for 20 years and can’t mend their ways, then that’s a definite red flag.
Generally speaking, if you can get into a relationship with a white-collar criminal, you may not notice much of a difference compared to a regular relationship, other than you seem to have a lot of money lying around. However, if you get into a relationship with someone prone to violence, then that’s genuinely dangerous from your perspective and you should exit it as soon as you can to stay on the safe side.
Take It Slowly
If you’re in a relationship with a known criminal, you’ll want to take it slowly. You need time to see whether they’ve reformed or not. Remember, many criminals do actually improve their lives over time. Only a minority spend their entire time in and out of jail cells.
If the criminal in your life has been through a religious conversion, then the likelihood of them staying bad is lower. Usually, people feel guilty when they commit crimes and will do what they can to repay their debt to society and God.
Don’t be surprised if it takes you a couple of years to form a close relationship with a criminal. You’ll want to keep your distance and spend as much time with their friends and family as you can to get a better handle on their character.
Ask Yourself Whether It’s Love
Obviously, getting involved with a criminal is more dangerous than the average romantic encounter. Therefore, you’ll want to ask yourself whether it’s really love.
Be honest with yourself. If it’s all about the excitement, then there are plenty of other places you can get your kicks. It doesn’t necessarily have to be with someone who’s dangerous.
If it’s really love, you’ll know it.
Ask If You’ve Chased Toxic Relationships In The Past
You would think that people would only seek out non-toxic healthy relationships in their lives, but that’s rarely what happens in practice. Most people actually do the opposite.
If you have a history of chasing after toxic people, be honest with yourself. Ask what your motivations might be. Think carefully about why you chase this sort of person and what’s in it for you. Often you can learn some interesting things about yourself and the way you live your life.
Conclusion
Ultimately, falling in love with a criminal is something that sneaks up on you. Sometimes, you don’t know at first but there are usually telltale signs. A bad credit rating, a shady past, or regular visits from social services.
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