What to do if You Fall for a Criminal

 

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Nobody ever expects to fall in love with a criminal. And then it happens and your whole world changes. All of a sudden, you’re involved in something you never imagined you’d be a part of before. And it can be a little scary. 

Why does it happen? Nobody knows. Some people believe that it's the animal magnetism that criminals represent. These individuals don’t play by society’s rules. Instead, they do their own thing, and that can be exciting. 

Others think that it goes right down to the depths of our psychology. Deep down we respect and admire these individuals for breaking out of the societal straightjacket and just doing whatever comes into their heads. They have a respect for freedom that many of us have lost. 

If you fall for a criminal know this: you’re not alone. It happens to thousands of people every year, often unwittingly. People become beguiled by the criminal mind because it’s so exciting and original. They want more of it, even though they know deep down that it’s poison. 

Falling in love with a criminal can happen at any time, so here’s what you should do if it happens to you: 

5 Benefits of Bringing a Pet into Your Home

 

Belle is my son Joel's Australian Shepherd and she's one year old!
This is us on a recent camping trip.

Pets of any kind bring happiness. They make excellent companions, can be great for lonely people, or be a wonderful way to teach kids about responsibility. The advantages of owning a pet stretch much further than even that; there are some real, tangible reasons to consider bringing one into your home.

 

#1 They can make you fitter

 

Pets that need interaction with help you get fit. This applies especially to taking a dog for a walk. Not everybody enjoys taking exercise, and fewer still want to go for a long walk or run simply for the sake of it. The beauty of owning a dog is that you have no choice. You’ll need to walk the animal at least once a day, and more active dogs like huskies can even be taken on long runs or bicycle rides. Forming a routine around exercise is great for your health, and having a reason to get up and get out ensures that you never miss a day.

 

#2 Great for mental health

 

More broadly, all pets have a beneficial effect on mental health. Even something as small as a hamster can alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness. The responsibility of owning a pet can also give somebody a feeling of purpose. Companionship is a big motivator for pet owners. Having an animal companion has been shown to relieve the symptoms of anxiety and depression and generally enhance feelings of positivity. Stroking a pet has even been shown to help people sleep better!

 

#3 Help you get organized

 

Caring for a pet is rewarding, but it isn’t always easy. There are vet bills, food supplies, and you’ll even need to replace toys regularly. Tools like Exceptional Pets make this process easier by putting all the required services (vets, food suppliers, etc.) in one place and allowing you to search according to criteria, but you’ll still need to be organized. Scheduling checks, establishing a grooming routine, and ensuring a regular supply of the right kind of food helps you to organize other areas of your life, too.

 

#4 They teach kids responsibility

 

Following on from the previous point, there aren’t many kids who don’t want to own a pet. They think they can handle the responsibility, promise to walk the dog or feed the cat, but words don’t always translate easily into actions. Bringing a pet into the home and teaching your kids how to care for it can really help them mature, though. It’s important to supervise them and offer guidance, but giving a child responsibility early in their life will help them to grow into a more considerate, capable adult.

 

#5 More socialization options

 

Pets give you access to pet owner clubs, where you’re likely to meet new people and make friends. Dogs might go to dog parks, but other animals, including cats and even birds, all have local clubs dedicated to them. Bonding with other pet owners is a fantastic way to make new friends (you all have a shared interest, after all) and can lead to long-term relationships.

River Market KCMO Date: Pigwich, Planter's, Lock up Your Love, Betty Rae's, Opera House, a Park

So when you've been with someone almost 26 years (we met in July of 1995, and here's our love story) and you have 5 kids together, it's easy to get into a routine of work, kids, busy, house projects, dishes, cooking, laundry, driving, errands, homeschooling, dentist, eye doctor, orthodontist, social stuff at home and other places, taxes, fishing, etc.

Maybe you try to carve out a day, put it on the calendar, but then something else comes up and you have to move the date to another time or maybe it just falls off the radar altogether. Also, with 5 kids coming and going, a couple driving, some with other plans, it becomes a homework assignment in rocket science to make it all work out. Not to mention you have to make sure there is plenty of food at home, and then you have to run down the ground rules again.

I'm happy to report that, although my husband and I didn't date much when the kids were younger (simply because we enjoyed being with them so dang much and also we had like 6 years together before we ever had kids), we are dating more now, when we can. Recently we went to Ronnie's Restaurant in Lenexa and it was fantastic!

I put this date on the calendar several weeks ago. It was originally supposed to be May 8, but I was consulted and agreed that a fishing trip with Mr. McLoughlin and Twin and 6 of the kids (4 of ours and 2 of Twin's) would be fine as long as we could move the date to May 1. 

Look, I know the MALE is supposed to plan the date and all that. I get where you're coming from, and we teach our boys that THEY call the girls and not the other way around. And we teach our girls that they should expect to have doors opened for them, etc. They are very blessed to have many friends whose parents have similar values. 

But sometimes you want to plan something nice for someone, you know? I chose a restaurant I knew he would like, a shopping experience I thought he would enjoy, and some exercise I knew he was craving. Then I got one more surprise idea. Here's our day in pictures! I hope it gives you some inspiration!

How To Cope With Loss- Navigating The Grieving Process

 The sad reality is that all of us will experience loss in our lives. Grieving can be an extremely difficult process. There is no rulebook or instructional manual to follow, but hopefully, you will find these tips helpful if you’re trying to cope with the loss of a loved one. 

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Help and support

It’s incredibly hard to come to terms with loss and to start looking forward, especially if you try and muddle through on your own. You might not feel like you want to talk to anybody for a while, but knowing people are there can be hugely reassuring. You should never feel pressured to open up or make calls to friends and family, but sometimes, having a shoulder to cry on, a friendly and familiar voice on the end of the line or even somebody to sit and watch TV with you in the evening can be comforting. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people who are checking in and getting in touch if you want to chat, or you feel like you need some company. People are there to help and support you, and they’ll understand if one day you need space, and the next you don’t want to be on your own. 

Practical advice

Losing somebody is not just an emotional upheaval. There are also lots of practicalities to deal with, including planning a funeral. It can be overwhelming to find yourself in a situation where you need to make calls to banks or law firms or suddenly choose poems or songs for a funeral when you’re grieving. The important thing to remember is that others are there to help. You can seek expert advice to help you with legal and financial issues, and it’s also beneficial to choose a funeral home like Miller Funeral Home that provides support. When you’re distressed, and you feel like you have a hundred jobs to do, having friendly faces there to help can make all the difference. If you don’t know of any funeral homes in your area, it’s a good idea to ask neighbors or friends for recommendations and to take the time to meet representatives. 

Time

Many of us live our lives at a hundred miles per hour, and we feel pressure to keep up momentum and hit deadlines on a continual basis. Losing somebody is traumatic, and it will impact every aspect of your life. It is so important to take your time to heal and recover, and to understand that there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to grieving. Some people might want to be busy, but for others, the thought of even getting out of bed may be daunting. Allow yourself to feel, and don’t suppress your emotions. It is highly likely that you will go through ups and downs and experience moments when grief will hit you like a train that seems to come from nowhere. Don’t apply too much pressure to yourself to get back to ‘normal,’ but don’t feel guilty if you enjoy going out for a coffee with a friend or you want to go back to work. Everybody is different and there is no time limit on grief. Take each day as it comes, and recognize when you need to slow down, look after yourself and seek help and support from others. 

Losing somebody is one of the most traumatic experiences we go through as human beings. If you’re navigating the grieving process, reach out to others, seek advice and don’t feel pressure to conform to a time-frame.  

It’s Not Them, It Could Be You: Discover Why Your Relationships Are Failing

 

Do you constantly find that your relationships are failing? It’s understandable and easy to want to blame the people that you are with for this. But perhaps you need to start thinking about whether you’re the reason. Don’t get the wrong idea here, we’re not suggesting that you should go on a self-guilt journey. But, it is possible that there are things you can change to ensure that you don’t continue to keep falling in the wrong traps. Let’s look at a few of the most important possibilities that might be relevant. 

Be Honest About Who You Are

It’s possible that one of the reasons that your relationships continue to fail is simply that you are not being honest about who you are and what you really want. This can be the case if there are things about yourself that you don’t like or don’t want to admit to. For instance, a lot of people live their lives pursuing the wrong gender of individuals. While the world has changed considerably over the past few years, some people still question same-sex relationships. But in some cases, this could be the right path for you and it’s just about taking the first step. Luckily, this is easy with things like lesbian chat-numbers. You can test out new things and find out whether they are what you want. 

Letting People In

Some people are going to struggle a lot when trying to let people into their world and allowing them to access their life. You have to make sure that you’re not in this position because if you are it will be difficult to ever make a relationship work. You’ll constantly be pushing people away and you’ll start to wonder who is really at fault here. You need to make sure that you are leaving yourself open for everything in a relationship rather than closing yourself off. This can be quite difficult at the best of times but if you tackle this issue head-on, you can get back on the right path. 

Making Time 

Finally, if you want to make a relationship work then you do have to make time for the people in them. A lot of people these days are career orientated which makes a lot of sense. Many individuals want everything that life can bring. But if your career always needs to come first, it can be difficult to make time to meet new people and form strong connections. That’s something that you’ll have to consider when you are trying to make your relationship work. It’s possible that you need to put more effort into finding what you’re looking for and spending time with them when you do discover it. 

We hope this helps you understand some of the reasons why your relationships could be failing and what you might need to do about this. If you take the right steps here, you can get back on the right track and ensure that your next relationship does have a solid starting point and a real, true chance at success. 

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What Do You Want From Your Relationship This Year?!

 Life might have got you thinking lately, and one of the things you might have thought about is your relationship. If you spent a considerable amount of time during a lockdown with your partner, you might have realized a thing or two that you didn't before. Being kept in close quarters with someone definitely does help to reveal true colors. For some couples this will have been great, those that didn't live together might now be living together. For others it might have caused a pressure on the relationship. A lot of the time there's not enough communication, so we're going to give you some ideas of things you might want from your partner this year so you can build a stronger relationship. 

More Of A Spark

Sometimes you just need to put a spark back in your relationship. As we get older and we become more settled in our ways it's so to forget that romance can die if the relationship becomes stale. The importance of date nights and doing things as a couple is more important as the relationship ages as it was when you were first getting together. Think about dressing up and going for fancy meals, or drinks out, or exploring different cities. If you have children you will no doubt be able to get child care for one night, if not then perhaps just the day. Getting out and doing things together gives you new things to talk about rather than just the same conversation about your days. It's so common for a relationship that's a few years in to lose a spark, but it's so easy to put it back if you focus on the relationship. It's good if you have another couple that you can go on double dates with, or even a big group of you. 

A Show Of Romance

A display of romance is a perfect way to end this year. A nice gift always makes a person feel good, and with the festive season actually not too far away a flashy gift with it. These Blue Nile Reviews will give you some idea of a diamond jeweler that you might want to use. Diamonds are a girls best friend as the saying go, and perhaps an engagement ring might be what you're hinting for. There seems to be a big boom of people getting engaged at the minute! Or it might just be a nice necklace to wear with a fancy dress. 

A Sense Of Adventure 

If you feel like your relationship has gone a little bit stale because you never seem to be going anywhere, then get a sense of adventure put back into your relationship. Go to different cities even if just for the day and explore like you used to when you were younger. It can be so easy to fall into the same routine of working to go home and pay the bills and not really do anything. The more you're out the more fun you're going to have and the easier it'll be to keep the relationship alive. 

Just Because You've Got Them, Doesn't Mean The Effort Should Stop

 Sometimes people face issues in marriage because one or both parties seem to be under the impression that because you have the person, there is no longer any need for a large amount of effort. This is simply untrue, and all that will happen here is that you’re going to drive your significant other away because they won’t feel loved by you anymore. Whether this is the case or not doesn’t matter because, without the effort, there isn’t going to be much there. That’s why you’ve got to make sure that you don’t ease up on this just because you are married. In this article, we’re going to be looking at some of the small things that you can do that really make an effort and show the one you love how you feel. Keep reading if you want to find out more.

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Flirt With Them

The first thing that we are going to look at is flirting with them. Remember at the beginning of the relationship when you would flirt all the time? You would send each other cute little messages, you would always want to be around each other, making cute little faces and so on. These are the kind of things that you shouldn’t stop doing just because you’re married. Don’t take the fun out of being with someone, remember what a good time you had in the beginning. This doesn’t have to stop just because you’ve now decided to spend the rest of your life with them. If anything, that should make things even more fun for you.

It’s a little thing like this that can mean a lot to a person. Leave them cute little notes to let them know you’re thinking about them when they’re not around. Just the simple things are good enough like ‘Have a good day’ or something. Write what’s on your mind, and that’s just one example of something you could try.

Buy Them Little Gifts

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The next thing that we are going to suggest is that you buy them little gifts here and there. We know that money can be tight, but even looking at plants online that you can purchase just to say that you love someone is a gesture they’re not going to forget in a hurry. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift to be meaningful, and that is the end goal here. You want them to know that you were thinking of them and that you saw whatever you decided to purchase and thought of them. They’re going to love whatever gift you get simply because you took the initiative to do so!

Let Them Know You Love Them

Sometimes, all the other person needs is to hear that you love them. This is enough. It can be tough when you’re married because there are so many responsibilities that get in the way but make sure you’re making time to show your love. There is nothing wrong with saying I love you to the person you’re married to, and you can never say it too much. Trust us, nobody is ever going to ask you to stop telling them how much you love them. It’s just a little bit of reassurance on their part and effort on yours.

They will likely do the same thing back if you keep it up. Don’t let the romance or the feelings die just because you are committed to each other, take it back to when you were first together and couldn’t get enough of saying those three little words.

Stay Faithful

The final thing that we’re going to look at is staying faithful. The longer you are with someone, some people start to get curious about what else is out there. If you are unhappy with your spouse, talk to them about it, or leave the relationship, don’t cheat. It’s never a nice thing to be cheated on, and it’s completely unnecessary seeing as nobody is forcing you to stay in a relationship where you are so unhappy. Think of all the times that you have had together, and what you could be throwing away for something that likely isn’t going to be what you think it is. Talk it out, stay faithful until the end.

We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now understand that just because you got the person you want to spend your life with, doesn’t mean this is where the effort should stop. Take this advice, and your partner is going to be happier than ever before. Good luck!

Gift Ideas To Make Your Man Feel Like A Classy Gentleman

There are many different types of men out there, and many types of aspirations that these men might have. A lot of us have men in our lives who strive to act like the kind of gentleman who might seem rare nowadays: the composed, thoughtful, yet resilient type. The kind who goes the extra mile for others with nothing but class. If you want the man in your life to feel a little classy, himself, then here are a few gifts that help with just that.

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Keeping it classy

Is your mind the kind to care about what kind of impression he makes on others through his appearance? Considerate men tend to consider what messages they’re sending out with how they look and, for that type of man, a grooming kit can actually make for a really great gift. If you’re not entirely sure what he’s missing from his arsenal, then getting a full grooming kit with just about everything he needs from places like Mr. Porter might be able to make it easy for you.

Give him a sensory experience

We all like to be a little indulgent and finding out just what ticks your man’s boxes can really make him feel like he’s living the high life. For a lot of guys, a well-aged scotch might just work fine. For some, it might be a really great bag of imported coffee beans. For others, it might the chance of puff on a really good cigar from places like Cheap Little Cigars. If you’re a particularly good cook, you might even want to shell out for the best ingredients and make a truly sumptuous meal for him, too.

Incorporate what he loves

A lot of men derive a lot of value from what they perceive to be their “taste.” In being particular with the music, art, and cinema they consume, they shape what ideas are important to them. As such, you can choose a gift that has real meaning to him if you look a little deeper into his tastes. For instance, if the man in your life loves a particular musical artist or has a deep connection to a certain song, then you can use that by getting a personalized vinyl record label with the lyrics to that song on it.

Take the time to pamper him

Feel like the man in your life constantly takes the time to pamper you and treat you, whether with big gestures or even regular little moments of generosity, then you might want to return the favor. Plenty of men enjoy the opportunity to rest and relax as much as anyone else, so give him a gift that can really wow him, such as a romantic city-break with a stop in a hotel with a spa and give him the chance to really feel surprised and appreciated.

Every gentleman who gives his all for the people around him deserves to feel classy now and then, and you can very much make it happen. Hopefully, the gifts above give you some ideas of your own.

How Do You Carry On When You've Lost A Loved One?

Grief is a long and painful process. It is one of the most challenging experiences you will make in your lifetime. Whether the passing of a loved one is expected, the pain remains a complex, and multi-layered journey. 

The grieving process is typically described as a unique and individual journey. While there is support available, nobody can go through the grieving process for you. As a result, you will go through the different stages of grief at your own pace, from denial to acceptance. There is no right or wrong. As everybody is different, the process can take an indefinite amount of time depending on your personality, life experience, emotional coping style, and relationship to the person. 

However, once you have accepted the loss, the grieving process is far from being over. A lot of people find it hard to go back to their lives. It is understandable to worry about going back to your routine, especially when the loss of a loved one forever transforms the routine. Life carries on after the loss of a loved one, and simple, practical steps can help you go back to your old self. 

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Join a class

The lockdown has enabled many of us to try out a variety of activities online. For people who are left in limbo after a grieving period, online classes have been the perfect excuse to explore new things without needing to commit. Commitment is a common worry after grief. It is natural to want to reduce interactions that could force you to redefine your routine. After grief, you are left in limbo, lost between the world of the dead and the living. But, signing up for an online class can provide a gentle and somewhat managed interruption of your day-to-day life. A lot of online yoga teachers have found virtual classes more intimate as they give an insight into someone’s life and routine. Many are happy to reach out to their students and build a bond as the class carries on. It may be the beginning of a new friendship and the key to encouraging you to go out of your comfort zone. 

Reclaim your home

You shouldn’t throw away the memories you created with your loved one. However, seeing familiar items that they gave you or that were theirs every day can be difficult. Perhaps, you want to keep those safe in a box in the attic until you are ready to face them again. You can focus your attention on creating a new interior that doesn’t remind you of them too much, such as organizing kitchen cabinets and removing the mug they gave you. Create a clean space in which you control how your decor makes you feel. You may want to change your interior again in a few months when you hurt less. It doesn’t matter! The process of cleaning and clearing your home is therapeutic in its own right. 

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Forgive yourself

When you go through grief, it is hard to say goodbye to someone who isn’t here anymore. A grief counselor can help you move through the stages of grief and progress towards self-healing. A lot of counselors have found that a lot of former clients come back for help when they are ready to restart their lives. Indeed, when you start to re-experience pleasures and joy after the loss of a loved one, you are left wondering whether you should have fun again. What you feel at this moment is guilt. You are divided between missing someone you love and enjoying your life. A grief counselor or a therapist can help you discuss your emotions and understand that being happy doesn’t reduce the extent of your affection for the person you’ve lost. 

Care for another living creature who needs you

Grief is a difficult journey. But you’ll be surprised by how much adopting a pet can transform your experience of it. Pets can naturally help to transform your brain and increase the presence of happy hormones in your system. They also offer companionship, making sure that you can become familiar with contact and social relationships. Grief can be an isolating experience, so finding a furry friend who forces you to face interactions is the way back to society. You’ll be surprised, as well, to know that most pets, dogs and cats, are emotionally tuned in so they notice subtle changes in your behavior and can help you cope by lowering stress and anxiety.  

Grief doesn’t end when you’ve accepted the loss of your loved one. Grief fully ends when you create a new routine that suits you and go back to your old self. It is a journey that is paved by guilt, fear of connection, pain, and isolation. But simple tips can force your path back to life and help you move away from grief. 

4 Ways You Can Help Your Partner Improve Their Health

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When both people in a couple are happy and healthy, the relationship prospers. Relationships fail for many reasons, but a significant aspect that goes under the radar is mental and physical health.

Without the ability to communicate effectively or concentrate for long periods, you’re going to get bored. The same applies to partners who get stuck in ruts and don’t want to attempt anything new. Part of your role as a loving girlfriend or wife is to lend a hand when they need it the most.

Guiding your man through the process is challenging since they may not be ready to accept your reasoning. Thankfully, these tips should make a breakthrough more likely.

Don’t Push

It’s cliche, but the first part of breaking any chain is to accept there is an issue in the first place. Until your partner does that, you’re only going to receive a backlash if you try and force the issue. Instead, you should bide your time and wait patiently until they are ready to tweak their life. Of course, you can make small propositions, yet don’t give up hope if they fall on deaf ears. At some point, the penny will drop and they’ll turn to you for advice.

Explain How You Feel

Women have to deal with a lot, but so do men. Toxic masculinity, or the idea that guys are less manly due to certain admissions, impacts your partner’s decision making. Therefore, you must show them that it doesn’t matter what they say or do because they’ll never be less of a man. If anything, opening up about issues such as mental health is the most masculine thing they can do as they’re smashing stereotypes, helping others, and growing as a person. Although you might think your love and support are obvious, it never hurts to point it out.

Find Loopholes

Okay, just because they’ve admitted how they feel to you doesn’t mean they’re ready to embrace their emotions with everybody else. Unfortunately, certain issues are harder to hide, such as hearing problems because the aids stand out and catch peoples’ eyes. The good news is that different styles of hearing aids are designed to be discreet and hide the fact that the wearers have problems. With a little research, you can find loopholes that make the impending change to their lifestyle less scary. Never underestimate the effect of judgment on a man’s mental health as it’s a myth that you don’t care what others think.

Do It Together

As always, it’s less demanding to reach a goal with a buddy. Doing it alone means there isn’t as much to lose by quitting. After all, they’ll only disappoint themselves, and lots of people don’t care about letting themselves down. In a team, you will not only push them on to hit their targets, but you’ll add a sense of guilt. They won’t want to impact your objectives, which means they must think twice before disappointing the love of their life.

Challenging your loved ones to be better isn’t wrong, yet it helps if you are strategically savvy.

When it's Over: Separating from your Spouse in a Healthy Way

When a marriage breaks up, whether it’s just a trial separation, a more permanent separation or a full-on divorce, it’s a devastating and stressful time. Dealing with the feelings and the fallout caused by the dissolution of a long relationship can be heartbreaking, to say nothing of the added stress involved with splitting up finances, belongings, and a potential custody battle. Worse, it takes some time for these issues to be resolved; it’s not a quick fix in most cases. 

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    While it’s inevitably going to be a hard time no matter how you look at it, there are ways to make your separation go a little easier. 

    The first thing you want to do is talk to your soon-to-be former partner as civilly as possible, and try to come to an agreement to keep things civil and friendly. It can be hard when feelings are running hot, and there’s heartbreak and anger on both sides. But if you and your ex can keep things civil and calm, it will go much easier for both of you, and healing can come much faster. 

    Hiring a family lawyer is also a very important step in the marriage separation process. Even the most amicable of splits require a lawyer in most cases; just to make sure that division of property, finances and custody agreements are all done above-board and fairly. Hiring a lawyer doesn’t mean that you don’t trust your ex or that things will turn nasty; it’s just ensuring that you’re protecting your assets and property, as well as doing things the legal, proper way. Make sure you take the time to get quotes and if possible, consultations with a few different family law firms/solicitors in your area, to determine which one can best represent you. Preferably, you’ll choose a lawyer who has experience and a history of good settlements in similar cases to yours. 

    Once you’ve chosen a lawyer, you’ll begin the process of legal separating. This includes agreeing to and signing any initial or temporary custody and housing agreements (these may be modified later by a judge or with a further settlement); arranging for any supports such as child support or alimony; division of property and belongings; further discussions, agreements and settlements; possible court appearances in the event that a settlement can’t be reached, and finally, signing a final agreement, divorce papers, and so on. Your lawyer will be there to assist with the majority of this, and it will usually take place over a period of months (years in some more involved cases). Generally speaking, the more amicable and agreeable the parties are, the faster the process goes, though any good lawyer understands fully that this isn’t always possible. If you have extenuating circumstances that make it hard for you to be amicable with your former partner, don’t feel that you have to acquiesce to their demands or expectations just to “keep the peace”. Your lawyer will make sure you are taken care of and that any settlement you reach is fair and just. 

    Once all documents are signed and everything is final, you’ll begin the process of moving on with your life. This may mean moving to a new home or city; learning to parent on your own or dealing with an empty home; getting used to a new financial situation and budget; or just dealing with being on your own again. Be easy with yourself and take the time to heal from the separation. Don’t put too high expectations on yourself right away. Separation is a process that takes time to get used to. If you’re having trouble dealing with your feelings or moving on, don’t be afraid to speak to a therapist or professional about your feelings. They’re there to help.