Sunday Book Club

This is what Aron does with the kids sometimes on weekends while I try to sneak in a few minutes of writing. I love when kids get to Eva’s age and they bring you a picture book and beg you to sit with them and tell them the names of things they point to.

Negative Review of Jenkins & LeBlanc Children's Dentist Practice

*Update November 2023 and my mom gives me a copy of a local magazine with the "Best Of" in Kansas City. Jenkins is not with LeBlanc anymore, but LeBlanc is apparently the best of dentists in the city. I disagree. Overpriced services, too many flashy extras, no humility, and the filling fell out anyway. Someone who owns their own business should be humble enough to apologize to a customer when they keep them waiting, no matter the reason. Sometimes the customer just likes to be validated and then they'll love you forever. No validation of the experience = a customer who not only will never come back with their five kids, but a customer who will write about their bad experience for all to see.

If you live in South Overland Park in the great state of Kansas, get ready to be offended.

So I took Callie to this Kansas City children's dentist because they could get her in sooner for her filling. The first appointment found us waiting for 40 minutes so she could be seen for about 2 minutes. The waiting room had a big, flat-screen TV on the wall playing Despereaux. There were video game stations. There was a huge aquarium. Then there was the Starbuck’s brew-by-the-cup station for the parents.

After her “appointment,” Callie got a token to put in the toy machine. Then she got a balloon. And stickers. And each of my kids got a popsicle because the ice cream machine was down.

They sneak the cost of all this crap into the cost of nitrous oxide, apparently, because we had to come up with $200 for that alone. I like Karen’s idea of having your kid get comfy with a dentist so there isn’t a need for nitrous or Baby Valium (recently heard a report that nitrous oxide is contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer, as well), and I will probably try that in the future.

Here’s where I will offend you, Ladies of South Overland Park (for those of you from out-of-town, South OP is akin to Beverly Hills):

The day of her actual visit Aron took off work and we ALL went to the dentist. Why not, when there’s a playland there AND Starbuck’s for us? Every mother who came through the door was super-skinny and totally put-together. Their kids were all immaculate. The women all had these high-pitched Valley Girl voices. And felt like they were sacrificing their lives by not having their NANNY bring their kid to the dentist (yes, I got that from an actual conversation). I felt like I was in an episode of 90210: The Mommy Years.

The dentist was 45 minutes late, and Callie hadn’t been allowed to eat breakfast since they’d be using the nitrous oxide. Being Pregnant Me right now, I chewed him out really good and he acted offended that I would dare to call him out on being so dang late.

Growing up, I was lucky to get a toothbrush and floss at my family dentist’s office. I’m thinking of taking my kids to MY dentist so they don’t come to expect a Bentley every time they do something necessary like get their teeth cleaned or get a Pap Smear.

Update: then the filling fell out. We didn't go back. Not our kind of place.

I Always Know What To Do

Callie, age 4 ½, giggling as she handed me a Flavor Ice and I got the scissors to cut off the top: “You always know what to do! You know to put my clothes on, to cut things!”

That’s my job. I may not keep an immaculate home, but I definitely take care of my kids. And if their faces are dirty sometimes or their hair isn’t brushed, who cares? Their souls are clean and their hearts have been brushed. That sounds weird, doesn’t it? But you know what I mean.

I want to know an area where you slack off. You can’t shock me (I saw the Oprah where the woman said she sometimes doesn’t bathe her kids for 3 weeks), and you may end up in the next edition of The Laid Back Mom’s Parenting Guidebook.

And if you want some more good comments about yesterday's post, Friend me on Facebook ... Kerrie McLoughlin. The discussion kept going over there, and I am NOT the crazy one ... this time.

I Am the Crazy One

Warning: there's a cuss word in this post :-)

So I’m convinced now that I am the overprotective, paranoid parent. Here’s why …

Joel has an 8-year-old girl friend who stays home alone for a couple of hours at a time. This same friend decides to go shopping with a friend when she wants. Apparently they do that all the time. And they go to the local library alone, too. I live in a decent area, but just across a major street is the equivalent of the semi-privileged ghetto (does that even make sense?).

Joel has a 7-year-old girl friend. Her dad lets her stay out a set amount of time doing whatever she wants. He tells her what time to be home, but she doesn’t have a watch. She goes around knocking on doors until somebody lets her in to see a clock.

Another 7-year-old boy in the neighborhood rides around on a mini motorcycle and doesn’t look before he blasts across streets. I told him I hope I don’t accidentally run him over sometime. Don’t you need a license to ride a little motorcycle? The kid says his bike goes 30 mph. We live in a busy area, and most drivers have their heads up their asses while talking on their cell phones.

I’m not letting Joel go to the lake (3 hours away) with neighbors we don’t know THAT well. He doesn’t really want to go anyway, but I told them I’M overprotective. I still say a prayer when Joel and Michael cross the street alone to go ahead to the park before me.

Tresa got frustrated trying to convince the CarMax people that it was NOT okay for her to leave her kids (ages 2 and not-yet-4) in the little waiting area while she went out to look at cars.

NEWSFLASH, People: It’s not the 1950s anymore, like when my dad, as a kid, could ride the bus to Downtown and hang out all day and be safe.

Why am I usually the odd woman out when it comes to giving a shit about my kids living or dying or getting molested? I do know 2 moms who won’t let their kids spend the night anywhere. I respect that. Maybe they think I’M reckless with my kids for letting them stay the night with friends sometimes.

What is it about the magical age of 7 that makes kids think they are completely responsible, and why do so many adults seem to agree with that? And the stories above are just a tiny sampling. I can’t tell you how many times people have dropped their kid off at my house at 2 p.m. and they hadn’t fed their kid lunch yet.

FYI: I’m pregnant with my 5th kid. Just because I’m all capable and crap doesn’t mean that I am to be used. If I watch your kid daily for 3 weeks, then you should damn well say YES when I ask if you can watch my 3 oldest ones for 3 hours. People have no manners.

I’m moving to the country with other people with freaky values. Maybe Tennessee. Or Oklahoma.

Sorry to rant on you. I’ll be all serene after the baby comes. And I’ll be hinting to all these users that I need MEALS … and Pizza Hut delivery is just fine, thank you. They can just call in a double order when they call in their twice-weekly dinner order.

My Van's Butt

Guess we're gonna try to cram all 5 kids into the Town and Country (meaning it has only 7 seats total). Yes, Karen has already warned me of the ramifications of having a booster in the front seat or of having a kid only in a lap belt in the back.

Part of me says look at all the crap kids survived in cars way back before seat belts. Part of me is all freaked out. Part of me thinks the kids would be safer in the minivan with NO SEAT BELTS than with me driving a 12-passenger van, but I should have thought of all this BEFORE getting knocked up again, right?

So here's the back of my van now ...