Back in June Aron asks Callie and the boys if they want to go to Franklin Park or Shawnee Mission Park to ride bikes. Callie goes, “Are those the only options?” She’s FOUR!
Same day
Joel says, “Oh, a sitting chair.” Like there’s another kind? Maybe a rocking chair. Is that like saying, “I killed you dead.” Note to self: work on redundancy in homeschooling this year.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Jon & Kate … Yes, I’m Going There
Somebody gave me the August 3 issue of US Weekly. Of course there was an article about Jon & Kate Gosselin. And of course I have issues. Here they be:
Kate “has been a pendulum of emotions, snapping at her children (even more so than usual) and withdrawing (even more so than usual) from the locals in Wernersville, Pennsylvania.” DO YA THINK?! I wouldn’t want to go near people either at a time like this. And of COURSE she is snapping at her kids and is a wreck. Do you think the host of this blog is Mother of the Year when her husband is out of town for weeks on end? Taking care of 8 kids alone (or even with a part-time nanny) while going through a divorce while your husband is all over the world with a younger woman AND being in the spotlight (their choice, I know) is HARD.
A worker at a hotel where Kate and the kids stayed said, “That woman should take lessons from Angelina Jolie.” There’s a big difference there, though. Angelina has 2 fewer kids and doesn’t have SIX the same age. Also Angelina has BRAD to help handle the kids.
There was a photo shoot and it didn’t end until 9 p.m., “long after most 5-year-olds’ bedtimes.” Not in my house! You don’t wanna KNOW what time we go to bed around here. But then they sleep in so that’s when I get my “quiet time.” The point is … who appointed 8 p.m. as the bedtime of choice for ALL little kids in America?
“When asked by Us about his new digs [in NYC, appx. $5,000/month], he replied, ‘It’s expensive!’” What a dork! I’m not clear on their financial situation and know he should get half of the money from the reality crap, but didn’t KATE write the books and then tour the country pimping it out?
“A source close to Jon notes that during the South of France trip, ‘Jon was on his cell to the kids all the time. They would call him, and he took the time to speak to them and describe what St.-Tropez looked like.’” Wow, that’s mighty white of you Jon, to TAKE THE TIME to speak to your children. Should I now give my husband an award for calling home every night when he travels?
On a different note, who wears high heels to a dude ranch, Kate? With 8 kids, you have to be dressed to chase their butts down if they try to get away from you.
AND … I’m always happy to see when people like her have kids who get cavities! Makes me feel better about my own parenting. And convinces me that fluoride actually might CAUSE cavities. Hmmm.
Kate “has been a pendulum of emotions, snapping at her children (even more so than usual) and withdrawing (even more so than usual) from the locals in Wernersville, Pennsylvania.” DO YA THINK?! I wouldn’t want to go near people either at a time like this. And of COURSE she is snapping at her kids and is a wreck. Do you think the host of this blog is Mother of the Year when her husband is out of town for weeks on end? Taking care of 8 kids alone (or even with a part-time nanny) while going through a divorce while your husband is all over the world with a younger woman AND being in the spotlight (their choice, I know) is HARD.
A worker at a hotel where Kate and the kids stayed said, “That woman should take lessons from Angelina Jolie.” There’s a big difference there, though. Angelina has 2 fewer kids and doesn’t have SIX the same age. Also Angelina has BRAD to help handle the kids.
There was a photo shoot and it didn’t end until 9 p.m., “long after most 5-year-olds’ bedtimes.” Not in my house! You don’t wanna KNOW what time we go to bed around here. But then they sleep in so that’s when I get my “quiet time.” The point is … who appointed 8 p.m. as the bedtime of choice for ALL little kids in America?
“When asked by Us about his new digs [in NYC, appx. $5,000/month], he replied, ‘It’s expensive!’” What a dork! I’m not clear on their financial situation and know he should get half of the money from the reality crap, but didn’t KATE write the books and then tour the country pimping it out?
“A source close to Jon notes that during the South of France trip, ‘Jon was on his cell to the kids all the time. They would call him, and he took the time to speak to them and describe what St.-Tropez looked like.’” Wow, that’s mighty white of you Jon, to TAKE THE TIME to speak to your children. Should I now give my husband an award for calling home every night when he travels?
On a different note, who wears high heels to a dude ranch, Kate? With 8 kids, you have to be dressed to chase their butts down if they try to get away from you.
AND … I’m always happy to see when people like her have kids who get cavities! Makes me feel better about my own parenting. And convinces me that fluoride actually might CAUSE cavities. Hmmm.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Did I Just Say That?
It seems like I blog weekly (or daily, sorry) about how surly I am.
The day Aron had to go to Phoenix for work (with a 36-weeks-pregnant wife at home), Joel called his cell phone to say hi. Aron had to get off the phone fast, though, and Joel told me it sounded like someone was yelling at Aron.
So here’s what comes out of MY mouth:
“They’d BETTER not be yelling at my man. His ass is out there as a FAVOR. His huge wife is at home with sinus issues and a doctor who’s pushing her to be induced. If they even LOOK at him funny, I will fly the 5 ½ of us out there and kick them all in the nuts.”
The scary thing is that I might actually do it.
The other night on Rescue Me, Sheila told Janet, “Sit down or I will kick you in the vagina. And you know I will.”
I was always the kid who was bullied on her way home from school and in the bathrooms in junior high. These days, it’s like I am totally the verbal bully to adults who annoy me and do stupid, selfish crap.
Don’t worry, readers, I’ll be back to nice and normal in a few weeks … or will I?
The day Aron had to go to Phoenix for work (with a 36-weeks-pregnant wife at home), Joel called his cell phone to say hi. Aron had to get off the phone fast, though, and Joel told me it sounded like someone was yelling at Aron.
So here’s what comes out of MY mouth:
“They’d BETTER not be yelling at my man. His ass is out there as a FAVOR. His huge wife is at home with sinus issues and a doctor who’s pushing her to be induced. If they even LOOK at him funny, I will fly the 5 ½ of us out there and kick them all in the nuts.”
The scary thing is that I might actually do it.
The other night on Rescue Me, Sheila told Janet, “Sit down or I will kick you in the vagina. And you know I will.”
I was always the kid who was bullied on her way home from school and in the bathrooms in junior high. These days, it’s like I am totally the verbal bully to adults who annoy me and do stupid, selfish crap.
Don’t worry, readers, I’ll be back to nice and normal in a few weeks … or will I?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Let Kids Be Kids
The other night at the park, a mom of one (no offense to parents of single kids, but sometimes they can get a little over-fruity simply because they have the time to) had her 4-year-old son there. Not only did she hover over him every second, but when he started running for the swings, she told him, “Stop running! You don’t have your running shoes on.”
Is that like my “listening ears”? She probably called the State on me because my kids simply don’t wear shoes at the school park at all. At least her kid had nice sandals with good tread on them.
Anyway, here are some pix of my kids just being kids, since I’m like the best mom in the world and all that.
Is that like my “listening ears”? She probably called the State on me because my kids simply don’t wear shoes at the school park at all. At least her kid had nice sandals with good tread on them.
Anyway, here are some pix of my kids just being kids, since I’m like the best mom in the world and all that.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Depo/Welfare Follow-Up
I have to hand it to you all: you didn’t kick my butt as bad as I thought you would over that recent post. Tresa knows me very well … it was not a well-thought-out argument … it was just something goofy that came to my mind and I put it on the blog. I don’t think I’m anywhere in Ann Coulter’s ballpark, though, right? Good.
I once had a crazy-ass homeschooling friend who found out she was pregnant with her 10th kid. She cried because the only insurance they had was from HER working at Starbuck’s 20 hours a week. Twenty hours may not sound like much, but when you’re trying to homeschool a bunch of kids, keep the house from falling down and praying to God that your husband will get some meaningful work, it can be tough. I asked a stupid question and she unfriended me immediately. It was something like, “Can I help you? Like pay a utility bill or SOMETHING?” She said anytime anyone helped them like that, they expected things in return.
I can see where she’s coming from. If I had paid her outrageous gas bill, I probably would’ve eventually made some snarky comment like, “Um, why is your heat set at 90 degrees so that I’m sitting here SWEATING when you can’t even pay the bill?”
Still, the idea of the handout drives me nuts. We are far from the Great Depression days, folks, and yet so many of us feel ENTITLED to free daycare, free medical, dental and vision care, free food, free money and outrageously low rent. I am ALL FOR people being helped … TEMPORARILY. If your life sucks for 15 years straight, though, why does that have to come out of the taxes of those who are working their asses off every day? People like my husband, who gets upset when he has to go out of town, but he does it ANYWAY because it is a damn job and pays money to support his family.
We all have our stories either backing up my idea of trading a welfare check for a Depo shot or thinking it quite controlling. I had to use Medicaid when I was 18 and had a horrible miscarriage, but never have had to go on any other kind of assistance because, frankly, the idea of it was just never played with in my house when I was growing up. It was either WORK HARD or figure something else out, but you don’t take handouts.
UNLESS …
Of course, unless you have been badly disabled through no fault of your own (I’m sorry, but being overweight or alcoholic in my world does not fly for disabled). Or your house caught on fire somehow and burned down. Or a car wrecked into you and you are in bad shape.
There are things that simply suck and things we bring on ourselves. I’m just saying we bring on babies ourselves. And then have a good 8 months to prepare for said baby. You may have to suck it up and live with your parents, ladies. You may have to go after the guy for child support and put your pride away. You may have to work 2 jobs throughout your exhausting pregnancy to save up for your own place, car or baby clothes. WHY SHOULD YOU GET FREE MONEY JUST FOR HAVING A BABY?
So save STATE FUNDS for serious crap. If EVERYONE was on the government’s boob, our roads would not be drivable, people who REALLY needed help couldn’t get it (that actually happens now), our schools would suck (oops, that’s already happened).
Where are the State’s priorities?
Crap, I’m afraid I’ve offended in a whole new way now. Well, go easy on me. My brain isn’t working right, and I’m having trouble making coherent arguments that don’t hinge on generalizations.
I once had a crazy-ass homeschooling friend who found out she was pregnant with her 10th kid. She cried because the only insurance they had was from HER working at Starbuck’s 20 hours a week. Twenty hours may not sound like much, but when you’re trying to homeschool a bunch of kids, keep the house from falling down and praying to God that your husband will get some meaningful work, it can be tough. I asked a stupid question and she unfriended me immediately. It was something like, “Can I help you? Like pay a utility bill or SOMETHING?” She said anytime anyone helped them like that, they expected things in return.
I can see where she’s coming from. If I had paid her outrageous gas bill, I probably would’ve eventually made some snarky comment like, “Um, why is your heat set at 90 degrees so that I’m sitting here SWEATING when you can’t even pay the bill?”
Still, the idea of the handout drives me nuts. We are far from the Great Depression days, folks, and yet so many of us feel ENTITLED to free daycare, free medical, dental and vision care, free food, free money and outrageously low rent. I am ALL FOR people being helped … TEMPORARILY. If your life sucks for 15 years straight, though, why does that have to come out of the taxes of those who are working their asses off every day? People like my husband, who gets upset when he has to go out of town, but he does it ANYWAY because it is a damn job and pays money to support his family.
We all have our stories either backing up my idea of trading a welfare check for a Depo shot or thinking it quite controlling. I had to use Medicaid when I was 18 and had a horrible miscarriage, but never have had to go on any other kind of assistance because, frankly, the idea of it was just never played with in my house when I was growing up. It was either WORK HARD or figure something else out, but you don’t take handouts.
UNLESS …
Of course, unless you have been badly disabled through no fault of your own (I’m sorry, but being overweight or alcoholic in my world does not fly for disabled). Or your house caught on fire somehow and burned down. Or a car wrecked into you and you are in bad shape.
There are things that simply suck and things we bring on ourselves. I’m just saying we bring on babies ourselves. And then have a good 8 months to prepare for said baby. You may have to suck it up and live with your parents, ladies. You may have to go after the guy for child support and put your pride away. You may have to work 2 jobs throughout your exhausting pregnancy to save up for your own place, car or baby clothes. WHY SHOULD YOU GET FREE MONEY JUST FOR HAVING A BABY?
So save STATE FUNDS for serious crap. If EVERYONE was on the government’s boob, our roads would not be drivable, people who REALLY needed help couldn’t get it (that actually happens now), our schools would suck (oops, that’s already happened).
Where are the State’s priorities?
Crap, I’m afraid I’ve offended in a whole new way now. Well, go easy on me. My brain isn’t working right, and I’m having trouble making coherent arguments that don’t hinge on generalizations.
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